there is a hole
in my backyard

each morning i jump in
and dig

this morning
i could no longer reach the top

so i slept in my hole
and when i woke
i began to dig again

i know its fruitless
but i dont dig to get out

i dig
because its what i know
i dig 
because its comforting
i dig
because when all else is gone
my hole will still be there

when ive pushed everything else away
it will still be there
on the days i dont dig
or the days i forget
it will still be there

so

i dig

I loop my rope around you
my anchor

you save me
from flapping
from being carried away
on the wind
aimlessly 
endlessly

you stop the fear
of the vast sky
where the next kite
seems so far away

I can come out
from underneath my rock
and fly
because of you

it will break
don't go

selfishly

I plead
I cry
I scream at you

it's delicate
this thread 
attaching we

my eyes are scooped out
my tongue torn from me
my ears boxed

i care not

for
i still feel
your heart touch

a little note
full of beautiful

words
left at my door

a knock

on the cabinet
in my chest

opening
me 
a little more

I don't want to die
but I want to disappear

I don"t want to kill
but I want you dead

I don't want to hate
but I want you to feel empty

I don't want to live 
but I want to stay alive

I don't want to be lonely
but I want to be alone

I don't want to hurt
but I want to be human

I don't 
but I do

i feel comfort
in the night
in the corner

where i can't see

my hands
my pain
my heart

always hungry
always eating

You reach
for me
and
you need me
to reach back

but 

I can't

 I sat alone
in a hole
watching

no one stopped

or came

or peered

then

then
there was you