I dont/want

I don't want to die
but I want to disappear

I don"t want to kill
but I want you dead

I don't want to hate
but I want you to feel empty

I don't want to live 
but I want to stay alive

I don't want to be lonely
but I want to be alone

I don't want to hurt
but I want to be human

I don't 
but I do