I really didn’t know what I was doing with these blobs. This is the first time out of school that I didn’t worry about the why of the thing. I knew I liked the stretchy tights and restrictive earthy attribute of twine, but I didn’t know where this was going or if I knew why I chose this direction. Ultimately, it ended with me learning so much about myself.

I had been recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and addictive personality, and it all came crashing down that the rest of my life was going to involve restriction. I could never let go because that meant harming those closest to me. I had to be careful and considerate, while all this rage and pain flew threw my veins.

When I reflected after this series I understood why, I liked to lash out and scream. I enjoyed inflicting my pain unto others, and I was scared. Would all my memory be of how I wouldn’t let others forget I was suffering? So, I started to learn how to restrict and contain, but also expand within beauty and grace. Pain can be beauty and beauty can be pain. As much as I am annoyed to write this, all things are connected.

Through this series I found a wonder in pain and restriction.

This sentence didn’t mean I couldn’t be me. But I could me more. Learning where to explode.